I am about to wade into a splash pool of controversy. A very small, shallow pool but still not a comfortable place for me. Recently there was an article called Pathetic in Pink making its rounds on Facebook, penned by a woman who does NOT like the colour pink, or princesses or small, blonde, white girls. I won’t include the article because it is, I believe inappropriate and hateful. The message is aggressive and the figurative language is used as a tool to express disgust. The subject of this woman’s tirade is children, a specific group of children, but children none the less. I was bothered by this article … a lot.
People who know me may think it is because I am a proud, pink wearing, tiara owning, mother of a blonde girl, kinda gal, and at first I wondered that too. But then I realized that I really could care less about someone else's opinion on the colour pink or any other colour for that matter. There is a cacophony of pink bashing articles these days. It is the new craze. Do I think it is worth discussion? Not really. But then every one has their own soap box.
What really bothered me about this article is the judgement. The choice this woman has made to judge others, even worse, judge other’s children based on appearance, based on what she thinks their lives are like. As an autism mom I know what it feels like to have my child judged. To see the looks and to recognize that someone is having a very negative thought about someone so precious to me. The sting of judgment is not a feeling any parent should have. It is not a feeling that should be directed at any child. I realize that this author was going for effect. That she was trying to stir controversy, get people talking. That she was using hyperbole to make a point. I get hyperbole. I love hyperbole. I have the word hyperbole set in pink diamonds across my tiara. I AM THE QUEEN OF HYPERBOLE. But those reasons do not negate responsibility. As women and mothers we have a responsibility to build other woman and children up not tear them down. It is time that we stop being such a judgey society. And if we can't manage to do that for other adults at least we should try to not judge children. Any children! All children!
I feel this woman’s hurt coming though her harsh words. She talks about the judgement her own daughter has faced. I feel for her, we have shared that pain. But sadly one of the gifts this kind of adversity often gives you is empathy and compassion for others. She did not seem to get this gift. Perhaps it was wrapped in pink and she wouldn't open it.
Paulette Moore is a mother of two, wife of one, and autism consultant of many.